Being a stay-at-home Mom is really not for the faint hearted. Last Sunday, I was left in the salon because my hair color isn’t finish yet. I was really disappointed with myself for having that “pamper time” which I really doubted that I deserved. It was my first time again after more than 2 years (last salon visit was December 2019 before the pandemic). The kids went home with the hubby and hubby was not able to rest.
I cried because of guilt — of taking my time off from the kids for almost half day.
I cried because I felt sorry for myself — because I cannot enjoy a pamper time without thinking about my children.
I cried because I kept telling myself that I deserved that few hours of ‘me time’ but my mind says otherwise.
I know that every momma with a situation like me can relate. No househelp, with two kids aged below 10, with a business to focus on. Add in how the society view you as one of the privileged ones, often misconstrued as moms lounging in the house all day and ‘only’ taking care of the kids and being financially dependent on their husbands. It’s a lot of hard work and a lot of patience. Honestly, I do not know how I manage to do it but I am surviving everyday.
But don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being around with my kids. I enjoy it when they come with me when I drive around to do errands for the day. I get unli-smiles, unli-cuddles and unli-kisses. I get to see their milestones and be there for them every step of the way. I love how their eyes twinkle when they see my face as they wake up each morning and their drowsy eyes before they fell asleep at night.
Just today, they asked for a Samgyup date. You can never imagine how happy my heart is seeing their smiles when we arrived at the restaurant.
For me this feelings are valid. As a SAHM, do you experience it too? ♡